So, we've all had that painful experience where you sneeze so hard that you throw out your back. Wait. No we haven't. Because that's crazy. That's ridiculous. Sneezes should not throw out backs. Nonetheless, it's what happened to me five days into my two week vacation.
It was early in the morning, and I was just finishing up with breakfast. As I bent down to put the milk in the mini-fridge, I felt a sneeze coming on. Not wanting to sneeze directly onto all of the food, I turned just slightly.
Somehow, the combination of my stiff morning muscles, a slight twisting motion, and a rather powerful sneeze (the beginning of a cold, I'm just now seeing the tail-end of) made it so that I couldn't fully straighten back out.
As I stood, hunched over with my hand on my lower back, Jeff entered the room.
What happened?!
Given that this happened within three seconds of his inquiry, I had no time to formulate a legit story that didn't embarrass me. So, I told him the truth.
I sneezed.
After some laughter, we both realized it was actually kind of serious. Standing and walking weren't bad. Sitting up with perfect posture wasn't too bad, either. The transition between standing and sitting, and sitting and laying down was a bit difficult, however. More to the tune of excruciating, actually. And extremely time-consuming.
Remembering Jeff's excellent experience with acupuncture, we decided to go to the oriental doctors who worked their magic on his back. (He managed to throw his out in a much more legit way a few months back.)
The clinic we went to used some rather curious instruments on me. The experience began with me laying down on a bed - quite difficult in the condition I was in! I was warmed by a heating pad beneath my neck, a heat lamp hovering above my feet, and a clay pot of boiling leaves resting on my stomach. (The chimney-looking thing is exactly what it looks like. It was a chimney that helped suck up the steam from the boiling leaves.) After about 15 minutes of this, the doctor came back with the needles. Eight to ten needles were placed in various places, from my ankle, heel, toe, wrist, finger, and knee. I sat like that for about 15 minutes. Then they came back and had me turn over onto my stomach. (Once again, not easy!) They then attached electrified suction cups to my back which shocked/massaged my muscles for another 15 minutes. More needles were placed along my spine and in a particularly knotted section of my back, and I rested like that for another 10 to 15. When it was all said and done, the doctor came back, rubbed cooling lotion onto my back, and asked me to sit up.
Jeff's experience - nearly fully range of motion.
My experience - nothing changed.
This hour long procedure did seemingly nothing for my back. Though, I won't count it as a total loss because I found it rather fascinating. It was on my bucket list to try oriental medicine and/or acupuncture while here, and now I get to check that off my list.
Jeff was disappointed to hear that I had no relief from my pain... but we shortly got a little insight into why that might be. Apparently the doctor he saw, located in this exact building and office number, had moved locations. The doctor I was seeing was brand new. So brand new, she gave me an umbrella as a grand-opening gift.
Update:
The next day, I decided to try a different, more hospital-like clinic that a friend suggested. I had x-rays done (a bit intense, if you ask me!), more heating pads, more electrified suction cups, and more cooling gel. Still, no improvement.
The next day, they had me return to use the stretchy-outy machine pictured below. It was decorated with pictures of astronauts and some Korean literature flashing the words USA CERTIFIED and something about NASA. This should do the trick! Two hours later, after the standard heating pad, electrified suction cups, a short massage, the stretchy-outy machine, and some more cooling gel... I decided to give up. Still no improvement.
I stopped by a pharmacy that night and picked up a $3 cooling pack for my inflamed muscles. I figured another couple of bucks wouldn't hurt too much after spending over a hundred on everything else. And you know what?! I felt a lot better in the morning. Sleeping with my penguin pack on my back became my favorite way to relax for the next few nights. Each morning, feeling better than the last.
Sometimes it's the simplest option that works the best.
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