Venting

Stream of Consciousness:
Today I feel overwhelmed.

All of my students need my help.  Let me say that again.  All of my students need my help.  There isn't one who wouldn't benefit from a little (or A LOT) of one-on-one attention.  They need tutoring, they need mentoring... they need both. 

And how in the world are you supposed to decide which students are the lucky few to actually get it?

Maybe it should be the ones who are bold enough and driven enough to call out for my help?  But what about the shy ones who don't have the confidence to admit they need it?  What about the "trouble" kids who distract all of the other students?  They desperately need guidance and discipline and love.  But what about the average children who always gets overlooked?  And let's not forget about the really bright students who are bored and need to be challenged or they might become "problem" children themselves.

Seriously.  How are you supposed to choose?

Happenings of the Day:
One of my students came to school today with dog pee completely covering her uniform sleeves.  A CPS (Child Protective Services) report was done today for this girl's sister due to suspected abuse.  I'm guessing that both girls should probably have a report done.  Maybe I'm just being negative. 

Also, three boys in my afternoon class beat up a fourth boy from my class during lunch recess.  During third recess one of the girls from that class punched another boy from that class in the face.  That happened about 45 minutes after I pulled that same girl out of class because she was sobbing because she couldn't fit her legs under her desk.  Did I mention yet that the school doesn't have the resources to have P.E. class?  There isn't even a gymnasium in the school. 

At least my afternoon class got to go to recess.  My morning class had to sit quietly with their heads on their desks for the entire lunch recess because of an issue we had in the morning. 

Can you keep all of that straight?  I can hardly figure out how to coherently write it all down.

Trends and Speculations:
A few teachers mentioned a trend that they've noticed in regards to the worsening student behavior.  Keep in mind that this is just speculation and a definite generalization, but I had it explained to me at lunch that this happens every month.  Towards the middle/end of each month, the behavior gets worse and worse.  ("Just wait till the end of the month!" they tell me.)  Why?  Because many families (as a generalization) have a hard time managing money.  And by the end of the month, most of it is gone.  This translates into a few things: 1) More stress and chaos at home.  2)  Less food.  And thus, the children are more frazzled and respond by acting out. 

What to Do About It:
While driving home in the 15 passenger van today, these thoughts ran through my head.  I hardly talked to my teammates.  We're all a bit overwhelmed.  But what's the point of bringing it up?  Any suggestions anyone might have, we already know.  There's no magic solution.  I don't want to hear suggestions.  I just want to vent and recognize this harsh reality.  No one can actually provide an answer to these dilemmas.  And I don't want to hear opinions that will only make me more frustrated.

After arriving back at base I decided I could really go for something delicious.  A note on comfort foods: I know better, but I did it anyway.  Yup.  I bought a few yummy treats from a nearby shop, which I consumed on the walk back to base.  And I managed to consume 60% of my daily fat allowance within that 3 minute walk.  Great. 

But not to worry.  My appetite was quickly cut short when my roommate showed me a google image of scabies.  Why would she do this?  Well, three of my teammates are currently at the clinic.  One of the students they have been working with has scabies.  Guess what - that students got it from his brother.  Guess what else - I was sitting on the floor next to his brother for about an hour and a half this afternoon working on math.  Huh.  I'll let you know if I notice any bugs laying babies under my skin in the next week or so.  I figure it'll be pretty noticeable.  Just maybe a little itchy.

On the Bright Side:
My students may be a lot to handle, but while talking to my afternoon teacher, we both agreed that at the end of the day, they're incredibly sweet and warm-hearted.  It may feel like we're hearding cats sometimes, but they're adorable cats.  In all honesty, there's only one or two that I'd hesitate to say that about. 

Also, one of the teachers may be able to work her magic and get everyone on my team a free movie theater pass!  And let's not forget the thoughtful mother who made fruit jello for our entire team as a completely unexpected thank you gesture.

Also, Also, it was sunny and warm out today.

Also, Also, Also, my padre sent me a really encouraging text today.  Perfect timing.  :)  Thanks Dad.  Thanks to my entire family, actually.  I've always appreciated you and known you were great, but my roommate and I were talking this evening...  If we had the families of some of our less-fortunate students, would we have the inner-strength to pull through it and rise above?  I will never actually know the answer to that question, because I do, infact, have an amazing family.  My family and friends are so encouraging, and supportive, and caring, and kind, and thoughtful, and intelligent, and helpful, and accommodating, and patient, and giving, and warm, and attentive, and hard-working.  I love you all.  I appreciate you so much.